February 2012
Puking up Pepto Bismol is really, really unpleasant.
lol someone told me I should do some research at the library and I was just like “I thought Wikipedia bought them all.”
Anonymous asked: your doing a lot of bitching lately. what gives.
Jesus Christ, lady, you can’t be freakin out at your dealer cause he ain’t got no bud on him right now. Shit happens. I’m pretty sure that you won’t die from weed detox in the next hour.
bad bjs
Sometimes I’ll watch some porn or see a clip of some blowjob that makes me feel bad for the poor guy. Like I can just imagine him saying, “It’s okay, it’s cool… Let’s try something else.” I’ve heard there are few things more disappointing than an unenthusiastic girl sucking your dick with as little of her mouth as possible.
Warning to anyone who hangs out with me…
I spill whatever I’m drinking on myself no matter what vessel it comes in. It will dribble down my chin. Every time.
Note to self:
When struggling with eliminating zits (even though I haven’t had zits since I was like fucking 16, what is this shit) do NOT eat a quarter pound of bacon. It’s extremely fucking counter-productive, and soon turns into a not so delicious idea.
OH MY FUCKING GOD
I ALMOST, ALMOST, like THIS FUCKING CLOSE (very close), JUST SAT ON A HUGE FUCKING SPIDER ON THE TOILET SEAT LIKE IN THAT ONE GIF OF ALL THE SPIDERS LEAPING ON THE MANS SHOE. OH MY GOD MY LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.
on drinking frog juice
Those tobacco free Florida commercials are gross but I honestly know more people who’ve quit eating dinner instead of quit smoking cigarettes because of them.
I hate it when people I live with whisper to each other. If you want to talk about me at least do it in the bathroom or something.
Damn so niggas dont eat ramen or grits?
khrispkream:
that aint poor food poor food is makin “hot dogs” outta vienna sausages and ritz crackers
The only time I ever got so mad that I started punching walls and throwing possessions was when my dog was run over and killed. I’ve never understood how anyone can get so upset on a daily basis that they repeatedly break dishes, phones, doors, and put dents in their own car. Calm the fuck down dude. Losing 20 bucks sucks, but losing friends because of your shitty violent temper tantrums is...
1 tag
I guess I should buy a Chevy Sonic
because then I can have amazing hipster adventures like catching fire flies and driving on hillsides too.
I am such a stealthy puker.
kittiesntitties.tumblr.com
I’ve never stumbled across a blog that has so perfectly showed what tumblr has become… until now.
oh god
i forgot what it was like to have a decent hangover. fuck this. fuck drinking. fuck everything.
I got nothing.: LETTER FROM AN EX-SLAVE TO HIS... →
arewepayingattention:
In 1865, Col. P.H. Anderson wrote Jourdan Anderson, a man the Confederate colonel once owned as a slave, and asked him to come back and work for him for wages. Jourdan dictated the following reply, which has been on the internet for years but went viral…
I'm not a prude, I just don't like man tits.
I saw a guy walking down the street with his shirt off. He wasn’t even black. It’s not even hot outside. That is so unnecessary.
“Your aunt brought me a BUCKET full of chocolate covered almonds for...”
– my mom
ick
It always kinda weirds me out when couples practice hygiene on each other. I’ve never, ever asked anyone to squeeze a blackhead, pop a pimple, shave my butt, pluck my eyebrows, or even put lotion on my back. I have two hands with working fingers and opposable thumbs for a reason (many reasons actually) and I rarely feel the need to seek help from a second party. It’s great that couples...
They say if you rob a bank once you'll probably...
jesuisperdu:
radiohead - all i need
The people I live with are watching Japanese game shows on TV. I have no idea what’s going on, but Dee is exclaiming from the other room, “EWWW ITS ALL STICKY!”
whitewhaler replied to your post: I’m watching a dog show on TV.
a buddy of mine is working at that dog show.
That’s… pretty cool actually.
I'm watching a dog show on TV.
Rooting for the border collie. My stomach hurts cause I ate really old chips a few minutes ago… What a mistake. Just like this post.
pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.